Vandelay Industries

I think it would be hilarious to really flesh out George Costanza's résumé -- especially the tortured explanations of how he got fired from each job, particularly Pendant -- and then actually submit it to a bunch of employers and see what the responses are.

Imagine what his cover letter would say. I'd write it, but I think I've already spent a little too much time working on this.

George L. Costanza

c/o Frank Costanza

7 Vandelay Blvd

Queens, NY 10152

Career Goal: To found my own architectural firm.

EXPERIENCE

Krueger Industrial Smoothing: Vice President, 1997-1998

Serenity Now Computers: Salesman, 1997

Play Now: Disability Bathroom Supervisor, 1997

New York Yankees: Assistant to the Traveling Secretary, 1994-1997

De Granmont Brassieres, Inc.: Sales Representative, 20 mins., 1993

New York Modeling Agency: Hand Model, one week, 1993

NBC: Writer, 1992-1993

Pendant Publishing: Reader, 1991

Sid’s Parking Service: Car Parking Facilitator, one week, 1991

Rick Barr Properties: Real Estate Agent, 1989-1991

EDUCATION

Queens College: B.S. in Accounting, 1986

Summer Job, 1984: Dairy Queen – Soft Serve Machine Operator.

Summer Job, 1985: Fat Camp – Waiter.